


Emo prince x2

by Loki_Wolfie



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Inspired by Hamlet, Inspired by Shakespeare, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Magic, References to Hamlet, References to Shakespeare, The Tesseract (Marvel), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:00:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Wolfie/pseuds/Loki_Wolfie
Summary: Loki escapes the Hulk with the tesseract, but is thrown through time, and lands in 1347, meeting the prince of Denmark, Hamlet. Loki agrees to help Hamlet kill the king, and chaos ensues.
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

AAAGGGHHH

is all I can hear as I hurtled through space and time. I am pretty sure it is me who is making the sound.  _ Why did I take the Tesseract???  _ I think.  _ Just my luck it drags me to a weird place in space, hey that rhymed!  _ As you can see, I obviously am losing my mind. Suddenly the all too familiar sense of falling overcomes me. I see the ground hurtle towards me.  _ I’m good as long as there is NO Hulk here.. _

Those are my last thoughts as I crash onto the planet.

I kick the weird dark figure that just fell from the sky screaming like a little girl. He rolls over and groans. “Ow. That hurt.” He mutters. “Please refrain from kicking me again, and it would be great if you could introduce yourself. Thank you for calling, I have gone to voicemail.” He rambles.

I stare at him. “What in the world is voicemail?”

He grins suddenly and looks up at me. “So what’s the year?”

“1347.”

“YUSSSSSSS!” he yells. “NO GREEN SUPER STRONG MIDGARDR BLOBS FOR ME!!!!” He weakly pumps an armored fist into the air.

“Are you some sort of barbaric knight?”

“Possibly. I am very barbaric. Totally. Hey do you have chocolate? Wait is that even invented yet? I hardly remember my 1300’s… This IS Earth right? Wait do you guys still think the sun revolves around the Earth?” The man looks up at me with a cheeky grin.

“Who the hell are you?” I demand.

“I’m… Loki… and you?”

“Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.” I glare at him. “That’s a very Nordic name. Are you a spy?”

“HELHEIM NO!” Loki yells “I HATE THOSE GUYS! PLUS MY BROTHER IS A JERK!” He pauses and slowly stands up.”they’re the ones who made me this hurt.” 

I stare at his attire. “Have you ever killed someone?”

“I would say no, but that would be a lie. Like, a really big lie.” He leans against a tree for support.

I smile. “Would you like to help me kill the king?”

“Killing Kings!” He brightens up considerably. “Wait… you said you are a prince… isn’t this dude like your dad or something?”

“Please! He might be married to my mother but he is NOT my father! My uncle killed him… He has to pay.”

“What is up with royal dads being royal pains in the butts?” Loki muses to himself. “No but really, that’s relatable.”

I hold out my arm. “So you’ll help me?”

“YEET” yells Loki. Then he looks confused and says “yeah. I meant yeah… sorry I always get my centuries mixed up. You humans change so fast you know.”

“...no I have no idea what you mean. But as long as you’ll help me kill my uncle then were all set.”

“Great” He replies looking relieved. “You seem like a nice kid, and if you killed me I would have to kill you and that would be mildly upsetting.”

I stare at him for a moment. “Fair enough.”

He grins and pats me on the back. “Let’s go!” He sings cheerfully, and promptly walks in the wrong direction.

“Hey! Loki!” I point to the obvious towering castle. “This way!”

“Oh.” Is all he says and then follows me, leaving me to wonder whether this was actually a good idea. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Hamlet had planned out this murder. Like WAY too much. He had gotten at least three vials of poison and was prepared to hire ten assassins. 

“You don’t actually want to hire 10 assassins.” Comments Loki without looking his way. “They would just be a clumsy mess”

“But then they can kill each other in the end and I won’t get caught!”

“No no, they will bicker amongst themselves and get caught. If you are sending assassins, send one and THEN kill it and hide the body.” 

“Fair point. So what if - hypothetically- I’ve accidentally killed my girlfriend’s father while trying to kill my uncle in front of my mother?” The midgardian looks up at the strange barbarian.

“I AM NOT A BARBARIAN!” Loki is looking off into the distance. “NARRATOR! LISTEN!

_ OKAY OKAY!! IM SORRY!!!! DON’T SMITE ME!!!! _

_ Blah blah looks up at the  _ **_handsome prince._ ** _ BETTER??????? _

“Thank you.” Replies Loki calmly 

Hamlet looks at Loki as if he is insane. Then he promptly realized that Loki probably IS insane.

“H-hamlet?” A woman’s voice calls from a hallway. “Oh, sorry- I didn’t know you were busy.”

Loki turns towards the voice. “Hi who art thou?” 

“I-I’m Ophelia.”

“Pleasure to meet you Ophelia! I’m just your average everyday emo prince! Also my name is Loki.” 

She looks happy for a moment before Hamlet turns away without notice. 

Loki takes the small smile as a victory. “Sooo…. Wassup? Just chilling or….like got any plans for this afternoon?” 

She looks at him with utter confusion. 

“Oh sorry… My translator is kinda broken after I fell from the sky and stuff…. This is the 1300’s….right?”

She nods, still visibly confused. 

“Oh goodie! You look confused… what are you questioning?” 

Loki is wearing a strange garment with a black overcoat made of unknown material.

“Just…” she glances at Hamlet before whispering: “he doesn’t talk to lots of people. Has he threatened to kill you yet?”

“No… wait maybe. He wants me to kill people. I’m only consenting as I have a jerk dad too. Well actually two of them.”

Her head snaps to Hamlet, who reels around glaring at Loki. “Hamlet!”

“Thanks, Loki. Thanks.” He says dryly.

“You’re welcome!” Replies Loki cheerfully.

Hamlet turns to Ophelia. “Sweet Ophelia, you won't say anything or tell anyone. Yes?”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIM! BE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN THAT NEEDS NO MAN! BOI BYE!” Says Loki. Calmly. TOTALLY CALMLY.

She looks between the two of them like a frightened deer. Hamlet calmly(actually calmly) steps forward and takes her wrist. “You are my betrothed, and you will say nothing.”

Loki stares and says. “Fuck. Arranged. Marriages.” 

The 1300’ders turn to Loki in disbelief. Ophelia’s face drains of color and she runs away- most likely holding back screams. 

“What’s wrong?” Asks a very confused god of Mischief.

It takes a minute of Hamlet to find words. “You-you… “

“I?” 

It takes a minute for the mortal emo prince to regain dignity. “How dare you speak that word in my presence!”

“...I dare? What’s wrong anyway? Aren’t you like, an emo teen or something?”

“The hell is emo? Are you insulting the prince of Denmark?!?!?”

The god smirked and mimicked in a falsetto. “Are you insulting the prince of Denmark? A tiny place compared to, I don’t know, the rest of Europe? NOooooo….WHY. WOULD. I EVER. DO. THAT?” Asks Loki both sarcastically and dramatically. 

Hamlets face holds a look of horror. “Wha- how- you-?”


	3. Chapter 3

“Me.” Agrees Loki.

“GUARDS!” He shouts! 

Loki grins showing off wolflike fangs. “Ooooooh fun! The plot carries on!”

Six guards come running in, wearing chain mail and helmets, brandishing swords of iron. 

Loki smiles amiably and says “Hullo there!” Then promptly punches one sending him flying into the opposite wall. As Loki makes complete and utter fools of the guards he comments; “So, I wonder, has tea been invented yet? I could really go for a cup of tea.” He says to the guard he is strangling. The poor guy dies and Loki drops him, brushing his hands off. “Well that was jolly good fun!”

Angrily, Hamlet draws his sword. “Fine. I’ll kill you here. A public execution would have been nice, but i’ll make do.”

The god stares at him. “Didn’t you just pay attention to what happened. Six of your knucklehead guards just fell. And I beat them up without a weapon. Do you have a death wish? Well I mean you might, but I thought you wanted to kill someone first… Ah well!” Loki smiles cheerfully and summons an odd, green black and silver staff, with Nordic runes engraved all across it. “So I choose Laevateinn and my Seidr! You like, just gonna use that pointy metal stick?” 

“This blade was my fathers! Enough with your silver tongue! I will cut it out!”

“So it’s your daddy’s pointy stick? Also you want to shut me up? Evidently there’ll be a line.”

“Please! Don’t kill him!” Ophelia suddenly rushes between them from here hiding spot.

“Who are you talking to?” They both respond simultaneously. 

She stands there awkwardly for a moment. “Um… both of you. B-because, if you kill Hamlet- this weird voice in my head told me this story will end.”

“Oh! That’s the narrator! Say Hi!”  _ HELLO!!! _ “Also why do you THINK I haven't killed Hamlet yet and called it a day?” 

“Ophelia! I don’t need your help! And Oy!”

“You really need her help. Actually you really need help. Mental help.” Says Loki.

“I do not!” The unstable midgardian relies. “I only occasionally talk to my fathers ghost.”

Loki just looks at him. “Mhm. That’s NORMAL. TOTALLY. Also I don’t blame you, my daughter is the ruler of the dead so I kinda end up chatting with ghosts when I pick her up from Satana’s place.”

“You both might need mental help.” Notes Ophelia. “But not the point. No killing each other? Maybe kill evil king dude who’s being super mean to his wife and step son?”

“OOH! IF I KILL THIS EVIL KING I WILL HAVE KILLED 3 EVIL KINGS IN THE SAME 2 WEEKS! HOW FUN!” yells Loki brightly. “This will be SO MUCH FUN!”

Ophelia gives Loki a strange look, but at this point she is really used to odd things like this.  _ Try being Hamlet’s Girlfriend. You’re prepared for ANYTHING.  _ She thinks to herself. 

**_Exeunt._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I'm not sure WHAT this is.


End file.
